We have had a crisis in our home the last week or so. It involves our middle daughter, Bo. Bo is a tough girl. She is just as stubborn as her mom and she hardly EVER does what she doesn't want to do. David always tells me she is the rock that is going to break us. This can be a good thing, right? I mean, when she is a good girl, she will be an excellent girl, RIGHT?!?!?
Anyway, so Bo has been potty trained for about three to four months now. We have had little to no problems with her. All of a sudden, however, things have turned for the worse. She has had an accident multiple times a day (and we are not talking about the wet kinds) for the past week. We have talked gently to her about not doing it, we have yelled, we have sent her to her room, put her back in diapers, taken everything off, taken away toys, pillows, play time, rewarded her for going, and all to no avail. I know you are not supposed to punish them for having relapse, but this is insane! Plus, she is getting a very sore bum from this whole ordeal. I think we have sent her to bed early every night this week. I cannot imagine this is fun for her, but I don't know what else to do. We are seriously at our wits end. I have already thrown away a ton of underwear, but they aren't cheap and replacing them won't be either. Plus, diapers are just, if not more, as expensive and we already have one in diapers all day long (Bo wears them at night because she isn't nighttime potty trained). I am seriously ready to toss in towel. I am so frustrated right now. She actually went on the floor today. WHAT??? Of course, the rest of the day was great until she stood in the kitchen and did her business in a pull-up. AGGGGHHHH!!!! I don't know what to do!!!!!!!!
Does anyone have any advise or experience in this area? I know she is not even three years old (our oldest wasn't potty trained until she was three), but I can't keep tossing underwear and I can't afford the diapers. I also can't understand how one little girl can be so smart and not remember when she has to go to the bathroom. It's like she has toilet amnesia. I would be inclined to think that this was because of some big change in our life, but nothing has really happened (well, we moved into a new house, but that was a month ago) to be so stressful. I am at a complete loss. I know she knows what to do, she is just deciding not to, for some reason. I could almost believe that she is so caught up in what she is doing that she forgets. But every day for a week, three to four times a day (yes, that many)?? I am having a hard time with it.
PLEASE HELP ME! :)
9 comments:
Boy, I wish I had advice. The only thing I have heard is taking a child to the bathroom every hour (or half hour) and making them sit for five minutes. Then, hopefully there would be less accidents.
In my 3 year old's case, he had major constipation which was causing those problems. I got him on a mild laxative, and he doesn't have the problems anymore. That's not her problem, is it?
Good luck!!
Would it be appropriate to consult with her doctor?
She has a dr. appt. for next week (earliest I could get her in).
With Brooklyn we've had to remind her quite often, and even if she says that she doesn't need to go, we still make her go fairly regularly so that she doesn't have accidents. I don't know if reminding her often would help... Brooklyn's only been potty trained for a couple of months now too, so I'm definitely still a novice in this area.
My middle girl is so, so, so stubborn and strong willed..When she would relapsed. Meaning they have been going potty for a while and know how to.. WE... some will say we are mean..but, we spray their bottoms with cold (not, full blown cold..but, cold) water in the shower. It only takes one time and it's when I am at my whits end and have tried everything else.
After that one time...threats of doing it again work great! Mean-I know...But cleaning the poop off of them one time this way..might work..
Malachi is five and a half and still NOT toilet trained. It is the most frustrating thing EVER!
We actually had taken him to a psychologist, who told us that his bowel movements etc... were his only form of control.
We call them spite poops now.
It doesn't matter what we do, say, or take away, he continues to NOT use the toilet. I've boughten him the little soft insert to put on, to make it more comfortable, a step stool, Dr. Pepper... he goes when he wants to and that's it.
I hope one day, he'll be like "Oh, I remember I used the toilet and it was AWESOME!"
Yeah.
Hopefully before Junior High...
Sorry.
This probably didn't help
Except I do believe the whole control thing.
It really is the only thing he has control over in his life.
And I've tried it all:
Drinks on the toilet,
Setting the timer and making him go every fifteen minutes,
Prizes
Punishments
Cheerios in the toilet (for target, all though you have a girl so that prob. wouldn't be effective anyway.)
No underwear
You name it, I've done it...
I feel for you! Potty training and accidents are so, so frustrating! Clara was completely out of diapers for about 6-8 weeks and then about a week before we moved (when I was constantly sending her to other people's homes) she started having lots of accidents. She has had major rash problems, too. I have chosen to put her back in diapers for the time being but it is such a pain to spend the money on diapers when I KNOW that she is capable of doing without. Hopefully it won't be much longer! Todd went through a time, more than a year after potty training, when he all of sudden started pooping on the floor. What finally worked was a punishment (I know you're not supposed to do that but...). We told him that if he pooped on the floor again we would take away 5 toys. Permanently. He only did it one more time after that. I would say, buy some diapers, give yourself a break from the struggle for a week or two and see if you can get her rash cleared up, then when you're ready to start again, make sure to give her lots of positive attention, both with the potty training and separate from it. Maybe Dave or someone could take the other two away for a few hours, several days in a row? I think that improving my relationship with my child has always helped with things like this. Good luck!
I wish I had some awesome advice for you, but I don't. My kids were always bribe-able. If it is a control thing (as mentioned from someone else), give her other things she can be in control of (choosing her own clothes, what to eat for lunch, etc.). What worked with McKayla was washing her off with freezing cold water when she did it. Of course, then she had the opposite problem for a while with constipation. I think you should just take a break from it for a few days, and then start fresh. You are both probably feeling frustrated and it might help. Good Luck!
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