Jeff Foxworthy's "You May Live in Alaska"

Fairbanks in the winter. I could have taken this picture, but I didn't.

I don't know if Jeff Foxworthy really said/wrote this, but it is true. I love it!! Some days I miss the state of Alaska (like when it was 120 degrees). Anyway, this is pretty funny.



Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Alaskans:

If you refer to the contiguous 48 states as the lower 48, you may live in Alaska.

If the 2x4 you just purchased cost as much as the Skil saw you will use to cut it, you may live in Alaska.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Alaska.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Alaska (David would wear shorts when it was below zero).

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Alaska.

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Alaska.

If you know several people who have hit a moose - more than once, you may live in Alaska.

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you may live in Alaska (I never knew anyone that had air conditioning, actually).

If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Alaska.

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Alaska.

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Alaska.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Alaska.

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 70 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Alaska.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Alaska.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Alaska.

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Alaska .

If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you may live in Alaska (this used to be true and now I am freezing at 50 degrees ABOVE).

Just a few things to improve your knowledge of the foreign/domestic country that is the great state of Alaska. Think about this when you are enjoying your 15 above degree winter (and I am enjoying temps up into the high 80s in February!! Not bragging, just saying. I will be crying come summer, however).

New Job

So it's official, I am now a working woman. Not in the sense that I actually get up, get all gussied up and drive somewhere and am away from my kids some hours of the day. Nope, I am working in that I am getting paid to do something (other than be charming, of course... yeah, right).

Last week I started watching a four month old little guy. He is really cute and pretty laid back. It seemed like this might be overwhelming, but it isn't too bad (so far). I will only be watching him until the end of May because his mom is a teacher, but it will bring in a little something extra (you know, for that converter box us antenna people need to get). The older girls love him and want to help out all of the time. iLyn could care less. He tried to hold his hand the other day and she pulled away to go stand by the couch or play in the corner. I guess my genius plan for them to be buddies might not work. Again, he is a pretty good little one. I only have a couple of dilemmas at this point:

1. He doesn't like to sleep. I can get him to sleep for half hour stretches. He literally sleeps for 30 minutes and then wakes up. It gets slightly frustrating because I cannot get a whole lot done. He falls asleep faster than lightening, but just doesn't stay asleep. His parents can't get him to sleep longer than that during the day either... unless he is on his stomach. This pretty much freaks me out and I don't want to do it. I am not sure what to do at this point since he cannot roll over, but I am too nervous to lay him on his stomach. I had a cousin die from SIDS at a babysitter's house when I was a kid and so I am especially wary. I guess we will get it all figured out or my family will be eating sandwiches a lot for dinner.

2. Changing the diaper of a boy is quite complex. Well, it is probably easier than changing a girl, but, to be quite honest, I am terrified he is going to pee on me, or worse, pee in my face. I have seen one to many America's Funniest Home Videos of that exact scenario to calm down about it. I know I have been able to change my girls' diapers fast (when short time called for it), but I am now breaking record speeds. Of course, this can only happen when he is just wet. When the buidness has been done, I have learned to strategically place wipes so that the aim won't hit me. I always thought boys would be easier. They might be easier, but much scarier in the liquid department.

All in all, it has been a pretty good experience so far (all two days of it :). I guess this is the Lord's way of letting me be around a boy and see the difference. Right now, of course, the only difference lies in the changing of the diaper because they all have the same needs (you know, licorice for breakfast, tv all day long, the teaching of swear words and offensive hand gestures, playing with sharp objects, and such... jokes people, jokes. I would never give my kids licorice for breakfast! For those of you who cannot recognize written sarcasm (which is difficult, I know all too well), I am joking about all of it :)

Name Change

I have decided to change the name of our blog. It has been a long time coming. I will probably be changing a nickname or two of the girls as Boo and Bo can be quite confusing at times (for me, really). The title was getting long and it was kind of driving me nuts, so I changed it. I am not going to change the address because I am sure there are a million blogs with this title, so the address will stay the same. This is also a great new name because my girls are currently obsessed with Alice in Wonderland, so I thought it quite fitting. I am going to TRY to get new pictures up of the ladies. Things have been pretty crazy around here (I will explain later) and I may have even less time to blog. We shall see.

In the meantime, I hope you are not crying yourself to sleep over the failing economy, rising gas prices, the fact that our water bill is going up, the whole Chris Brown and Rihanna fiasco (what a jerk, eh?), or the fact that Prison Break is ending (that is for you, Nona :) Instead, I hope you are covering yourself in Pixie Dust so you can get a good nights rest and dream of the one you love giving you this:

This gives me heartburn just looking at it!

Happy Valentine's Day!

We hope you have a wonderful day full of love and happiness! Remember the love all around you and that you are special :) Have a great day!

P.S. Eat all the chocolate and ice cream you want. I heard today is a calorie free day (that's just what I heard).

I Have Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

I don't know what it is lately, but I just can't get myself on here to blog. I have fallen off of the blogging wagon. I think it's the fact that my kids were going insane because I was on here a ton. However, they have found new ways to spend their time and I have just not been able to get my act together and get the new pictures up (hello, my baby's birthday was almost two weeks ago and I still haven't put up the pictures... sorry Aaron). I will try to get better. It is my mid-February resolution to become more obsessed with blogging and spend less time doing boring stuff like laundry and housework. Wait, that won't work either. I want to be able to find my kids. So, I will just try to do better :) But not today because it is Bo's third birthday and I am doing this to avoid making her cake (which should take me several hours). I hope all is well in your part of the world!

We Still Believe

We thought you could do it. You came so close. If you wouldn't have received penalty after penalty for stupid, arrogant behavior, had bad calls made against you, if the refs wouldn't have let a couple of questionable (at least to me) touchdowns go through, and maybe held back that last drive down the field, you might have had it. You made quite a comeback, but it just wasn't enough this time for Goliath Rothlisberger and his ginormous body. Ah Kurt, and just when I was willing to change one of my girls names to Warner. What can you do? You slacked a bit, had an amazing comeback, but then just fell short. We will still love you, no matter what, but it is still a sad day in our home. We will miss watching you boys, but there is always next year... please, please do a repeat, but next time, let's win. Until then, practice playing clean, work on your defense, and for heaven sake, please toughin' up and improve Leinart. He is like OB1... our only hope (if our man-crush Kurt decides to retire. You read that right, OUR man crush ;) Just keep little Matty away from the college kids and we might end up on top once again. We still believe, we are crushed, but we still believe!