I am stealing this from Lynsey because this is too funny! I don't know who this guy is, but I think this is hilarious.
Scene 7
MEAN VAMPIRE JAMES: You puny humans are so predictable and weak. Now I've got you alone, free to toy with you and torture you and deliver lengthy explanatory monologues to you! I just hope I don't waste so much time fartin' around that when I finally do decide to kill you it's too late because Edward and the Cullens have arrived to save you!
BELLA: That would certainly be an unusual twist!
MEAN VAMPIRE JAMES: I must say, I can see why Edward likes you. Your smell is overpowering!
BELLA: Oh, you can smell that? Sorry, I thought I could sneak one out....
MEAN VAMPIRE JAMES: Never mind! At last it is time for me to--
EDWARD: Not so fast, Count Jerkula!
MEAN VAMPIRE JAMES: Edward! And the Cullens! Who could have foreseen your perfectly timed arrival?!
ALICE: I could have! Didn't, but could have!
(Fighting ensues. MEAN VAMPIRE JAMES is vanquished.)
EDWARD: Bella! Are you OK? He bit you! I've got to suck out the vampire poison!
BELLA: Edward, you don't have to make up excuses to put your mouth on me. I mean honestly, who ever heard of "vampire poison"?
EDWARD: I'm serious! It's coursing through your veins as we speak!
BELLA: Uh-huh. Whatever you say, Powder.
6 comments:
Snider was my crush in college. I've never met him, but I have been reading him for years and years. In fact, his movie reviews are the only ones I read. Love them!
I've never even heard of him. But this is really funny...explanatory monologues. Hilarious!
Love this.. I will have to check out this guys reviews. Like the good guys arn't going to come and save her. Or any helpless victim. Unless it's the sort of movies my husband likes.
HAHAHAHA!! That was HILARIOUS!! I have never heard of him berfore now so I guess I need to check him out!!
That was too good to pass up. I like this screen play.
I went to see the movie in Phoenix with my sisters & laughed out loud at certain parts. It was more funny than not!
Hilarious, still have to take Piper to see this!
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