Home is Where the ♥ Is

I feel extremely grateful this month, which is very fitting. I have so much for which to be thankful. I am grateful for my beautiful children, our good health, our family and friends, our country, and our Savior. This post, however, is dedicated to my husband, a man for whom I am indeed grateful.

Today something small happened in our home. I wasn't an amazing thing, but it brought tears to my eyes to think about it. It may even seem very silly to anyone else but me. I am crying as I am typing this (weirdo). The girls and I were up before the baby this morning and went down to have breakfast (this is Bo's morning demand. No "good morning mommy," just "fix me breakfast!"). I opened up the blinds and we had some yogurt and cereal. After we finished and cleaned up our mess, the girls and I started running around the kitchen and dining room. We ran and ran and ran. We screamed and ran and laughed and ran and screamed and laughed some more. We probably ran at least a half a mile chasing each other around the kitchen. We changed directions a couple of times, had a few spills (nothing major... no tears), but we had tons of laughs. We sang the songs my mom taught the girls while she was here, the songs my grandma used to sing to her. The house was alive with the songs of Teddy Bear's Picnic and Two Little Boys. This might seem like something cute or fun, or even insignificant, but to me this was something incredible, almost magical.

When David and I got married, we decided the two major things we wanted most out of this life was a family and a house. For seven years we have lived in places belonging to other people (apartments). And, even though it was a place of our own (except when our parents were so kind to let us stay with them), it didn't belong to us. I have spent my oldest daughters entire childhood telling her to be quiet. She has never been able to skip across the floor or run indoors or sing at the top of her lungs without David or I telling her to be quiet or to keep it down. For the first four years of her life, she will remember us being very frustrated at every little noise, every cough, every cry, every whinny, every song, every single sound she has made because it might bother our neighbors. Especially after last year, when our next door neighbor basically lost her mind because, from time to time, I would let my girls run around in our living room at seven o'clock at night. We ended up having to call the cops on her because she would blast Nine Inch Nails and slam dance in her living room to let us know we were being too loud (and scaring the heck out of my kids and making them think she was going to come into our house to get them). It has been wonderful having our own house, a place to put everything, but mostly it has been magical allowing my children to do what they do best... be children. I have been happier and freer in the last three weeks than I have ever been in my entire motherhood experience because I am more relaxed. I enjoy my children more and all of their little sounds. I enjoy watching the oldest girls wrestle with each other and chase one another around the house. I enjoy Boo being a pony and sliding herself across the floor and sing. I love watching Bo do somersaults and join in song with her sister. I smile when I listen to iLyn thump on the floor with her legs. I find myself loving being a mother more than ever because I can let my girls do so much more and not caring if it is loud. It is quite amazing to me.

This all would not have happened without the hard work and dedication of my love, my husband. The life of a provider (may it be man or woman) is extremely difficult and stressful. It's full of anxiety, concern, and a ton of exhaustion. David has been a shining example to me throughout the years. He is the one who makes me laugh harder than I thought possible, who has allowed me to think better of myself, has put up with the good and the bad, and has been my best friend throughout it all. I just want to take this opportunity to thank you, David. My life would never be this wonderful without you. I, quite literally, would not be where I am today without you. You bring joy to my heart and tears to my eyes... in a great way. Thank you for this beautiful home (and for the awesome upgraded gas stove!) that has truly become a sanctuary for me and, I believe, will allow me to be a better mother to our girls. Thank you for your persistence and dedication in finding this place. I gave up, but you endured. Thank you for the happiness and thank you, most of all, for your love and allowing me to love you. You are my beacon, my hope, and my heart. Grazie, il mio amore. Ti voglio bene ♥

P.S. I hope this doesn't come across as bratty or ungrateful for the first seven years of my marriage. I have always been grateful for you, David. I also hope this doesn't offend anyone. I have been a TERRIBLE mom the last four years in that I have lived on edge and yelled at my kids over every single noise. When your neighbors flip out or give you dirty looks, it is more than slightly unnerving. My girls are good girls and have never been over the top with their noise level... just kids. Plus, if you lived in UAF family housing you might understand that you can hear conversations from two apartments away. I spend this morning hoping this didn't offend anyone. I am just so grateful for the hard work of my husband and for finally living in a free standing building!